Friday, September 12, 2014

Top Ten Reasons To Write Erotic Novels

     I don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for articles that promise to transform your life in six minutes or less.  The ones with the catchy titles, like Seven Dirty Things Your Lover Wants To Hear You Say in Bed.  I even find myself occasionally clicking on Five Halloween Costumes to Make From Dryer Lint, but that's only when I'm trying to avoid that blank page on my computer screen titled "Work in Progress - Chapter Four."

     So today I thought I'd steal a page from David Letterman and give you my top ten reasons to write erotic novels.  Here they are - in no particular order of importance.

1.  You can actually get paid for all those naughty fantasies you're always making up in your head.
2.  It's a great way to let your significant other (if you have one) know what you'd secretly like but don't have the guts to admit.
3.  It's a great way to get a significant other.  Just try saying "Me? Oh, I write erotic romances about spanking and domination" in a crowded room.
4.  You can save a fortune on therapy by working out your daddy( or mommy ) issues on paper
5.   The fantasies you write are always perfect.  No one's going to go off-script, like they often do in real life.  (eg.  "Baby, let's have your hot girlfriend Ashley come over and BOTH of you can suck my cock while I watch football.  Doesn't that sound like fun?)
6.  Everyone has a happy ending and the orgasms are always fantastic
7.  It will give you something useful to do when there's nothing good on TV
8.  You can read other dirty books and call it research
9.  You can deduct sex toys as business expenses.

and finally
10.  It's nice to find out you're not the only one in the world who gets off on your special kink.  Whatever it may be, you'll find others who love it too, and accept you without judging.  And like the commercial says, that's priceless.


  1. I'm not an accountant, but if I buy a new toy and then write about it in one of my books, as far as I'm concerned it's a business expense, just like a new ink cartridge for my printer. Check with your tax preparer (if it doesn't make you blush!)