Stevie MacFarlane Shows Us Stress Relief, Navy SEAL Style

Welcome Stevie MacFarlane!  We haven't had the pleasure of chatting privately before.  So first, of course, the obvious question. How did you become a writer?

Stevie: I think I’ve always been a writer, just not very structured.  In 1991 I wrote Changing Her Mind, partly to challenge myself that I could actually write a novel and as a way to deal with the tremendous amount of stress I was under.  My husband was very ill and I was devastated.  Writing helped me escape into another world.

Kallista: I think many of us turn to writing as an escape. If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?

Stevie: I’ve had a couple of authors show me extraordinary kindness, Mary Quast and Maggie Ryan.  They are terrific women and I’m lucky to have found them. They were there for me when I needed them.

Kallista: We're glad they encouraged you, since without them we might never have been able to find out just what The Trouble With Abby is! Tell us a little about your new book.

Stevie: Abigail Steven's life changed the moment she woke up in Connor McCabe's bed. The former Navy Seal has his own code of conduct, and is hell-bent on teaching Abby a thing or two about proper behavior, for her own good, of course. Abby thinks the bossy, overgrown G.I Joe is gorgeous. He made her heart flutter and her knees weak, but she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. After all, she has a black belt for cripes sake.

Connor disagrees and has no problem pulling her over his knee for a little convincing. Adjusting a naughty female attitude is right up his alley. When trouble comes to The O'Malley family, Abby and Connor suddenly find themselves up to their necks in danger. The women need a hero, but who will it be?

Thank you, Stevie for treating us to this nice long look at The Trouble With Abby:

Pulling a black lace nightgown from one rack, she held it up to her body. “What do you think? Is this worth $3,000?” she asked. “Maybe on you,” he answered with a grin, “but for the average customer, no, I don’t think so.” “Me neither,” she sighed in disgust as she pulled large handfuls of hangers from the rack and carried the garments to the counter. “I must have been out of my mind when I priced these things.” “It’s alright, babe. You were probably tired. Mistakes happen,” he said, leaning against the wall, watching her. “I can’t afford these kinds of mistakes,” she snapped. “All it would take is for one customer to come in here and see prices like that and I could be ruined. My store would be a failure if word got around that I was way over-priced. I have to stay competitive if I’m going to make it.” He watched her hands shaking as she snipped all the tags off. “Abby, you need to take it easy. I know you’re stressed,” he continued, walking behind the counter and putting his big hands on her shoulders, massaging gently. “Relax.” “Really? You think I should just relax when my whole future is riding on this? When I’ve sunk every dime of my money into this place and a huge amount of small business loans besides?” she said, spinning to glare at him. “I’ll be bankrupt if this place doesn’t turn a profit,” she shouted, pushing away from him. “I could end up homeless, out on the street,” she continued. “Now you’re really on a roll,” Connor replied, trying to hide his grin. “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating, just a little?” “No! And now some psycho is threatening the people I care about most. You’re supposed to be good at this stuff, covert operations and all that. Why don’t you go find this guy and just…shoot him or something? You’ve got a big gun,” she pointed out. “Bloodthirsty little thing aren’t you?” Connor said, smiling as he scooped her up into his arms and began walking toward the dressing rooms. “What are you doing?” she screeched. “I don’t have time for a quickie!” “We are going to have a little talk, you and I,” he informed her, pushing open the door of the largest room with the toe of his boot. Three of the walls were mirrored and a matched pair of floral loveseats provided comfortable seating. Putting her on her feet, he sat and spread his knees, pulling her between them. “First of all, I can’t just go and shoot someone and I wouldn’t even if I could. Would I like to beat the piss out of him for what he’s done? You bet I would,” he growled.

Abby was eye-level and he was sure she saw the truth of that in his eyes when she backed up a step. Snagging the waist of her jeans, he hauled her back. “Second, I want your store to be a success, I really do, but no more talk about your life being over if it isn’t,” he ordered. “You do have a future, with me, and you damn well know it. I want you to stop acting like what we have, our relationship, means nothing. Do you hear me?” he said sternly, popping the snap at her waist and sliding her jeans down to mid-thigh. Gripping the cheeks of her ass, he gave them a little squeeze. “Well, it can’t mean much,” she sassed, struggling to pull her pants back up. “Oh, and why would you say that?” he asked, surprised. “I don’t see anything on this finger,” she snapped, wiggling the ring finger of her left hand in his face. “Do you love me?” he asked clearly. “When I don’t hate you,” she drawled sweetly. Connor released her butt and ran his hand through his short hair, sighing. Spinning, Abby took two steps, preparing to run, but her pants caught her up and she started to tumble to the floor. In a flash, he hooked his strong arm under her belly and pulled her over his knees. He stripped her jeans and panties off her kicking legs and slapped her bottom crisply. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the old-fashioned type,” he informed her, swatting her again and enjoying the sight of his pink hand print. “Oh, I’ve noticed,” she squealed, “a real Neanderthal.” “As a rule, I’m not particularly fond of bossy, pushy women,” he continued, spanking her rapidly with five more smacks. “No kidding?” Abby gasped. “Yes, it’s true,” he sighed, grinning at her in the mirror and watching as she nervously bit her lip. “A man likes to do things in his own way, on his own timetable. He doesn’t like to be rushed making big decisions and marriage is about the biggest in my book,” he said, letting his hand fall another three times. “I understand,” she cried, hissing as he rubbed her bottom. “No, I don’t think you do, baby. I don’t believe in divorce and that means you’ll be stuck with me and I with you for all eternity. I want us both to go into it with our eyes wide open. In other words, marriage shouldn’t be lust-inspired,” he continued, spanking her five more times.

Buy Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00Q0JX3PY

Blushing:http://www.blushingbooks.com/index.php?l=product_detail&p=3105

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-trouble-with-abby-blushing-books/1120809322?ean=2940150643956

Author Bio:

Stevie MacFarlane lives in rural upstate New York with her family.  When not cooking for her large family she can be found curled up with a good book or writing her heart out.  She currently has eleven books published and you can find them on Blushing Books, Amazon, Barnes & Nobel as well as other popular sites. You can connect with Stevie in the following ways and she loves her hear from readers.

Website: http://www.steviemacfarlane.com

Blog: http://steviemacfarlane.weebly.com

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/stevie.macfarlane.7

Email:  www.steviemacfarlane@aol.com

Twitter: @StevieMac1175

Amazon Author Page:  http://amzn.to/1ux9Qoq

The Key To Annie's Heart (Hint - It's Not A Naked Selfie! )

Today I'm hosting an author who is new to me.  Welcome, Keriann McKenna and congratulations on your new release The Key to Annie's Heart, written with Stevie MacFarlane.  Before we get into your book, tell us a little about yourself.  How did you get started as a writer?

Keriann: I’ve been writing for most of my life.  My first love was music and lyrics and my first song was a dreadfully simple little tune about a boy I was madly in love with at fourteen.  I’m certain I drove my grandmother to distraction as I wailed this boy’s name from the piano in the living room at every opportunity…romance was in my heart even at a young age.

Later in life I developed my craft as a poet and published work in anthologies.  I still write poetry but am dipping my toes in the waters of romance, both sweet and steamy.

Kallista: I admire poets. I can't even come up with the words for a dirty limerick! Your book is set on a ranch. Are you a country girl?

Keriann: I was born in a small community in Upstate New York, but left as soon as I bought a decent car that didn’t require more oil than gas…I’m not kidding.  I used to pull into a service station, hand the attendant five bucks for gas and tell him to fill it up with drain oil.

I lived in Canada and the Midwest for several years before settling in the Seattle area with the love of my life. I now live in the foothills of the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

Kallista: What did you do before you started writing steamy romances?  

Keriann: I’m retired from the counseling field although I still work crisis intervention two nights a week.  I consult with and edit for other authors into the wee hours of the night, and I rescue senior dogs and give them a forever home.

Kallista: Senior dogs?  It's nice to know someone is looking out for them. We recently lost our black Lab rescue dog to old age after ten years with us and I still find myself saving treats from my dinner for her. 

And now for a peek at The Key to Annie's Heart -

"Oh my God!” Annie gasped, her mouth falling open as she glanced at the pictures in her email. She quickly slammed the lid of her laptop down until curiosity got the better of her and she had to look again.

Internet dating was new to Annie Campbell. Only a couple of men caught her eye; the first never responded to her message. The second man responded immediately asking for her private email address. Novice that she was, she gave it to him. She was shocked when, within ten minutes, he began sending her photos of himself standing in front of what appeared to be an enormous marble fireplace. He was totally naked from the waist down and holding his huge cock. 

Some of his captions were “You’re so hot, baby! I want you to lick me all over” and “This would feel great deep inside you, call me.” The freak even included his phone number.

She wasn’t a prude; she was looking for a gentleman, not a one night stand with a man overly-impressed with his own rod. Embarrassed that she looked at all five pictures, she had to admit he had some nice equipment—too bad his ego was bigger than his dick and possibly his brain. Perhaps, under the different circumstances, she would have considered meeting him without ever knowing he was inclined to send such pictures; the thought was scary. 

Shaking her head, she deleted the photos and resigned herself to the fact that he was a low-life with nothing better to do. They can’t possibly all be like this, she thought, as she blocked future emails from him.

Annie began to think this internet dating thing was truly a waste of her time, possibly even dangerous.

About the book:
To live a rancher's life in the Rocky Mountains had always been Mac's dream.  He loved his place on Fall River.  He was a success by anyone's measure, except his own.  He failed to keep his wife content to be at home, although "home" was a dream put to architectural drawings.  Too many nights she preferred to stay in town with friends rather than make the trip up the mountain.  She liked to party, and winding mountain roads coupled with too much to drink ended her life.  Could Mac ever forgive himself for his wife’s death?

In all his ways Mac was basic, even when it came to sex. He was a standard missionary position kind of guy with an occasional variation. That would have to change; he wanted a wife and a family—a second chance.
Annie Campbell was a busy event planner at a five star hotel in the city. Fiercely independent, she wouldn't consider herself sexually savvy; she certainly was open to new experiences. It had been six lonely years since her husband died. It was time to move on and setting her fears aside, she joined an Internet dating site. After reading what she considered to be a damn near perfect profile, she sent Mac a brief note and waited. He had no idea just how independent she was. She had no idea how over-protective he was—but they were about to find out.
Could Mac pull it off? Could a country guy woo a city gal, stop researching how to please a woman, and put it into practice…and what about Annie? Could she surrender some of her independence and learn to submit to him? Read their story!
A contemporary western romance, The Key to Annie’s Heart is the first novel in the Fall River Ranch series. MacDermot’s Bride, Book 2, is scheduled to be released by March, 2015, and will be followed by a prequel, The MacDermot’s of Scotland. Each is a stand-alone novel intended for mature readers.

Find Keriann at -

Webpage: http://keriannmckenna.com Blog: http://keriannmckenna.weebly.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keriann.mckenna Twitter: https://twitter.com/KeriannMcKenna

I Can't Handle Writing Erotica Today - My Teenage Daughter Was Accosted

I write stories about domination and BDSM, populated with feisty heroines who secretly crave a strong man and the Alpha males who step in and take charge.  But right now, all that has me feeling a little sick.

I woke up this morning planning to drive my daughter to school and spend the whole day working on my latest book.  She's a high school senior in an early college program, attending classes at the community college.  On the way to school, she told me she'd seen one of the counselor yesterday to report an incident that happened while she waited outside a classroom.  Most of her classes this year are with adults of varying ages.  Apparently an "old guy" in his forties sat down on a bench in the hallway next to her.  She said he was obviously drunk.  He began talking to her, asking questions, moving closer, and finally putting his arm around her shoulders.

Heather got up and walked away but the guy pursued her down an empty hall.  She was able to get away, then headed to the office to report the creep to a counselor.

Yesterday when I picked her up, she mentioned that some guy she didn't know was coming on to her, but didn't go into detail about what had happened.  I assumed it was one of the boys in her class giving her a construction-worker style "Hey, baby" as she walked by and told her to ignore him.  Like most women, I think she was ashamed at first to tell anyone what happened, even her mother.

We've seen it over and over.  Many of us have experienced it ourselves.  The victim ends up feeling like she's the one at fault - like she somehow caused the incident or should have been able to handle it differently. Young or old, women are usually smaller, physically weaker.  The men are bigger, stronger - sometimes even rich, famous and powerful.  Think TV icon versus his victims who finally came forward and are being accused of lying - all twenty-five of them. 

Heather is small and delicate and quiet.  In short, the perfect victim for a sexual predator.  I had a long talk with her - told her if anything like that ever happens again, she needs to get really loud, really fast and then get as far away as possible from the man.  Yell at him, holler for help, threaten to call the police, create as big a scene as she can and don't be afraid of embarrassing herself or him.  Come out strong and hard.  It's the last thing he'll expect from her- and if she's lucky, God willing, it will be enough.

I'm spared the guilt of wondering whether I caused this.  No one in my home town knows what I write or the pen name I use.  So I don't have to ask myself if this creep singled my daughter out because he's read something I wrote.

My heroines are never victims, forced to do anything they don't already want to do deep inside.  And from what I've read, 90% of the readers of books like mine are women.  Women of all ages and all walks of life. Happily married.  Single.  Divorced.  Students, soccer moms, grandmothers.

As always, I'm turning to writing to work it through.  And here's what I know is true.  It doesn't matter who you are, what you may fantasize about, what you read, what you write or what you wear.  NO ONE has the right to touch you without your permission, to treat you with anything less than respect.  

But I've lived in the real world too long,  Heather.  And I know that saying it doesn't make it so.


      

Deduct Your Dildo - Sex Sells Tax Tips for Erotic Authors

Today's topic always gets me hot.  MONEY!
                                    
This month we'll all be getting 1099's from our publishers.  If you're a brand new author - Congratulations!  You now fall into the category of a small business for tax purposes.

If you're new to earning 1099 income, you're also going to get a nasty shock.  Every dime you earn isn't just subject to income tax. If you made over $400 as an author, you're also facing a bill for self-employment tax - 15.3% of your net income.

That means if you were successful enough to make it into the top 5% of all authors and earned $10,000 or more, you owe Uncle Sam at least $1,530 extra!

But if you've kept good records, every dime you spent on a deductible expense will lower that amount.  That means if you treated yourself to a new Kindle for about a hundred bucks in 2014, you can probably deduct it. It may not sound like much but the $15.30 you save pays for takeout pizza next time you're trying to meet a deadline and don't have time to cook.

Besides being a self-employed author, I've owned four other small businesses, from a real estate company to a food concession at Miami Arena.  Over the years, I've learned a lot about how to take advantage of every single deduction available.

Here's where I issue my disclaimer:  I am NOT an accountant or a tax attorney.  The following information is gleaned from years of personal experience.  If you have any questions about specific deductions, talk to an accountant.  If you don't have one, feel free to use my personal rule of thumb for picking a good accountant.  He or she has to save me MORE than I'm paying to have the return prepared!

Here's a list of basic deductions a small business can claim:

1.  Business Equipment
This includes computers, printers, copy machines and printers.  Here's a useful quote on what constitutes business equipment from Jeremy Slaughter at Demand Media:

"Businesses may also require specialized equipment such as tools, manufacturing equipment or heavy machinery. For tax purposes, you can deduct all of this equipment along with any other equipment used in the operation of a business. They key is determining how to deduct each type of equipment.
Small businesses can expense any equipment with a useful life of less than one year. Common examples include electronics not considered to last more than a year and hand tools such as shovels and rakes. Business owners typically deduct equipment like this as “small tools and equipment” on an income tax return."

Okay - specialized equipment, electronics not considered to last more than a year and HAND TOOLS? Sounds like vibrators and dildos to me!  ( Assuming you find a way to use said equipment in a scene in one of your books)

2.  Travel Expenses
Did you attend a writer's conference workshop, convention?  Did you visit a new location for one of your books? Airfare, gas, tolls, hotels, meals, cab fare - all of those can be deductible expenses.  Keep receipts from everything.

3.  Supplies
Here are a few examples - yellow pads, ink cartridges, printer paper, business cards

4.  Other deductions
Advertising, including giveaway prizes and ads in on-line trade publications
Books
Internet access
And if you're doing really well, you can set up a self-employed retirement account and deduct every dime you're saving so you don't have to write porn when you get old!

Don't miss my other posts in this series:
     Why Write Erotica - Here Are 10,000 Reasons
   

 

Who's That Dirty Girl? Oh, Sorry...It's ME!

Have any of you ever had this happen?  While chatting with Rayanna Jamison recently, she offered to host me on her blog.  I sent her a few snippets from a file of excerpts from my last book Bared By the Billionaire and promptly forgot all about it.

When I saw the headline for the post, Kallista Dane: Bared by The Billionaire, Anal Beads and Mammoth Hunters I thought she'd mixed me up with someone else.  Maybe one of those REALLY kinky people who write dinosaur/cave girl erotica.  I clicked on it, already rehearsing how gracious I'd be when she apologized.

There it was - a hot anal play scene with a hunky Dom/doctor making the heroine admit all her shameful secrets or face another spanking from the stern nurse next to him wielding a wooden paddle.

Oooh...spanked in public, ass play, AND a doctor?  In answering one of her questions, I also happened to mention cave women getting soundly fucked by mammoth hunters.  Apparently she was paying more attention to the conversation than I was!

Here's the problem.  I barely remembered writing that scene, much less the fact that I'd included it in the book.  Truth be told, it was probably one of those parts I write to turn myself on, where I become the heroine forced to admit all her naughtiest fantasies out loud while being soundly spanked for having them.   (Please don't mention that to my therapist.  I've paid her enough money already!)  Then I tell my husband all about the scene.  If I tell it really well, he's inspired to act it out with me, and the next morning I happily move on to the next.

Since I wrote that, I've had another book published and I'm halfway through a third. When I sit at the computer, my characters often start doing and saying things that weren't on the outline I scribbled in the parking lot of the mall after that long, solitary drive spent planning my book.

So I've decided to use the old "imaginary friend" excuse I dragged out to try and stay out of trouble when I was a kid.  It wasn't me.  It was that slut Kallista Dane.  And Rayanna I'm shocked, SHOCKED I say, at the things she comes up with.

                                                    

Renee Rose's New Sugar Daddy Likes to Watch

Today I'm thrilled to be talking with one of my favorite authors, Renee Rose about her hot new release Mob Mistress.  It's a sequel to her wildly popular book The Bossman.  

Renee, I have to tell you - one of the first erotic spanking books I ever read was written by you and I love your stories now as much as I did when I first discovered them.  Can you tell us a little about your latest book?

     Hi Kallista.  Thank you so much for having me here today!  My new book, Mob Mistress was just released.  It’s about a hairstylist in financial crisis who makes a deal with mobster Bobby Manghini to be his sugar baby.
 
Here’s what happens when her friend Gina, first introduces them:

      “I told her you’d make a good sugar daddy,” Gina said with a smirk.
     She felt her cheeks grow warm.  Good God, now he would think she was a money-grubbing, desperate floozy.
     The statement only seemed to interest Bobby, though. He turned his attention to her. “Is that so?”
     She opened her lips to deny it, but found herself caught in his heated gaze, the appreciative assessment obvious. Forcing herself to exhale, she said, “No, she was only kidding.”
     Bobby reached over and grasped the seat of her chair, pulling it forward until her knees came between his.
     She gasped at the sudden movement and gave a nervous giggle. “What are you —?”
     He made a show of looking her up and down. “Yes, I would definitely say you are sugar baby material.”
     Dean and Gina laughed, egging him on.
     She looked skyward again. “I feel like a horse at auction. Look, I never said —”
     Bobby grinned and took hold of her jaw. “Right! Let’s see those teeth, little pony,” he said, pulling her face toward him. Instead of looking in her mouth, he lowered his face, sweeping his lips lightly across hers. Softer than she expected, they tasted faintly of whiskey. Though she ought to be turned off by being so manhandled, the moment he pulled away, she missed his touch, wanting more.Her heart rate quickened. Was this actually happening?
     Bobby grinned and sat back, releasing her from his scrutiny.
     Recovered from her fluster, she gave herself a quick pep talk. What did she have to lose, really? A sugar daddy would solve all her problems, if this was for real. She gave him a seductive look. “Are you in the market for a sugar baby?”
     He threw his head back and laughed, a deep, rich rumbling sound that for no known reason made her tingle.
     “As a matter of fact, I am. But when I take a goomah, I expect her to be at my beck and call, available any time I please.”
     She swallowed, her panties dampening at the idea of being his sexual servant. “And what exactly would you offer in return?”
     Bobby placed both his hands on her thighs and made little circles around her knees. “Living expenses and spending cash. How does that sound?”
     Gina and Dean made enthusiastic murmurings as their eyes locked. Heat pooled in her center core, traveling up until her face grew warm. Her breath rose and fell in a rapid rhythm.
     He leaned closer and spoke in a low, rumbling voice, “But you should know, I would use you however I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I would demand fidelity. No other men.”
     “What about women?” she asked.
     “Only if I get to watch.”

When hair stylist Lexi Tyler finds herself evicted from her apartment, her best friend setsher up with the mobster Bobby Manghini, knowing he likes to play sugar daddy. He offers her a luxury apartment overlooking the city and spending cash every time he seesher, but one thing is clear: he is the bossman. Lexi soon discovers Bobby backs up his rules with firm, over the knee discipline, but he also takes responsibility for all her problems, giving her more support than she ever dreamed of having from a manMobster Bobby Manghini likes to be the man in control, particularly with women, which is why he prefers a mistress for sex, even though he’s no longer married. When he strikes a deal with Lexi to be at his beck and call, he finds in her the full package -- a hot, intelligent woman who is turned on by his dominance and willing to submit to his punishment. But when she finds out he doesn’t have a wife, she is hurt by the deceptionand severs all ties.Can he prove to her their relationship meant more than a business arrangement?  Or will he lose the one woman willing to give him everything he ever desired?

                        Amazon     Amazon UK    ARe     Barnes and Noble

Renee Rose is a naughty author and kinkster who loves writing about hot alpha males, Dominance/submission and power exchanges. Named Eroticon USA's Next Top Erotic Author in 2013, her books are all centered around kink, namely: spanking.  She also writes BDSM under the name Darling Adams.

Renee is a busy girl!  She can be found at all of these places:

                    Blog     Twitter      Facebook    Goodreads    Amazon    Pinterest

Renee Rose will be joining me for my series Sex Sells on January 28 to tell us whether a brand new erotic author can REALLY make money writing this stuff!  Be sure to join us...  

Sex Sells - Five Tips For Writing Erotica - And One Big No-No

Sex sells.  And it seems like hundreds of new writers of erotica are popping up every day, especially now that self-publishing has taken off.  Ebook readers are faced with thousands of choices in erotic fiction.  Unfortunately, many of them in my opinion are pure crap.

People may buy your 10,000 word book for just under a buck based solely on the title or the cover.  But if there's nothing inside but a mish-mash of poorly written sex scenes, they probably won't buy a second book from you.  There are too many genuinely good writers out there competing for that same dollar.

Recently I skimmed through a "how to write sex" book by a male author.  The guy started out bragging about how he just got started, he knows nothing about writing, never read much himself - but he's already making enough writing erotic books to buy all the booze he can drink.  He refused to divulge the pen name he uses so it was impossible to check out his story.  But judging from the quality of his self-published Ebook, I believe the part where he says he knows nothing about writing.

Here are five tips for writing erotica that I've picked up along the way from some very good writers - and one no-no I learned from the booze-swilling braggart:

1.  Come up with a good story.  Most readers of erotic romance are women.  And most women want the romance part as much as they want the erotic part.  

2.  Remember show and tell.  Bring all the senses into your writing.  Let them hear the harsh smack of the Dom's paddle echoing off the stone walls of the dungeon, shiver at the chill of the whipped cream that the hunky pastry chef smears on her nipples, catch the scent of the leather blindfold.

3.  Use real words, not tacky cliches.   Unless you're writing a story set in Victorian times, try to refrain from having the hero's throbbing manhood brazenly invade the heroine's nether regions.

4. Create characters we can like.  I want to imagine myself as the heroine, not hate her for being a whiny, spoiled brat or a slut with no redeeming social value.  Same goes for the hero.  No one wants to be romanced by a man with all the depth of a stick figure.

5. Go ahead and break the rules - AFTER you learn them   Good writers of erotic fiction know the basics.  They grab the reader's attention right off the bat and tell a compelling tale.  The sex is woven into the fabric of the story.  We all know famous authors who break rules, switching POV ( that's point of view), popping in and out of their characters' heads from one paragraph to the next.  But they can get away with it because they've learned how to make it work.  If you start out ignoring basic rules, don't be surprised if your readers become confused or annoyed.

And the One No-No I learned from the booze-swilling braggart:

Don't Treat Your Readers Like They're Stupid.  You may think people will buy anything if it has enough raunchy sex in it, but trust me - things like grammar, spelling, punctuation and the ability to put words together and form a cohesive thought really are important.  If you've never been an avid reader, you probably don't have any business trying to be a writer.

Don't miss these recent posts:
Renee Rose's Four Tips That Guarantee You'll Make Money Writing Erotica
Deduct Your Dildo - Tax Tips for Erotic Authors  
Why Write Erotica - Here are 10,000 Reasons
Sex Sells - A Sneak Peek At the Last Taboo